As I stand with Shakespeare, I’m in good company in keeping with timeless truths America made outdated. But in my mind, his words would be equally beautiful and true no matter who wrote them: Just as this bit below by another famous figure no longer with us. At the time — they pounced on him for thinking for himself, but that’s all been washed away. Now he’s forever celebrated for his skills, inspiration, and impact he made.

They’ll never know that he could have changed the world had they been inspired when it mattered most.

I won’t react to something just because I’m supposed to, because I’m a [does it matter?]. That argument doesn’t make any sense to me. So we want to advance as a society and a culture, but, say, if something happens to a [does it matter?], we immediately come to his defense? Yet you want to talk about how far we’ve progressed as a society?

Well, then don’t jump to somebody’s defense just because they’re [does it matter?].

If the cops show up at your door in the wake of woke, I assure you — you’re gonna hope it doesn’t matter. When it hits home, you’ll come to know how critical it is to see things as they are, not as you imagine them to be. It’s possible I’ll be evicted from my apartment because I brushed up against a girl’s jacket by accident. In another moment of maddening frustration with this place — I simply put out my hands to put her at ease that my issue is with the powers that be, not her.

That aside, had she done her job — this wouldn’t have happened.

And it’s not the first time she failed to deliver on her duties. While that’s mildly annoying and says something about her work ethic (not to mention the complete lack of concern on her face): My interest is in the systemic part of the problem. She’s just a symptom of something she shouldn’t have to face in the first place. It just doesn’t stand to reason that I would do anything to threaten someone I wasn’t even angry at. But in a world that’s gone totally off the rails — reason’s got nothin’ to do with it! Nor does the fact that I’ve been far more furious at others over the years (and I never touched a single one).

Simply saying, “Sorry, won’t happen again!” — would have defused what was about to blow. But instead of showing any concern at all (and taking some responsibility for failing to come through on the courtesy she owes everyone in the building):  “Don’t touch me!” (laced with a look of scorn) — was all she cared about.

And now, my issue is with her (and everyone like her — male and female).

She struck a nerve — as I know a little something about how far people will go to comfort their fragile egos (without an atom of regard for the damage they do). If you wanna screw with people’s lives over nothing — you’re gonna find out it doesn’t come cheap when you screw the wrong person. I’ll get to the rest later, but a bit of background first:

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This place was taken over by new ownership last year (and brought a bit of attitude I didn’t appreciate). If you’re gonna go green, encourage it all you like — so long as it doesn’t deny me the service I’m paying a pretty penny for. At first, they were just “encouraging ” us to use our “favorite mug” instead of the coffee cups provided for over 6 years. But it didn’t take long for me to figure out what they were really up to — which was eliminating them entirely.

And adding insult to injury: Keeping that sign up for “encouragement.”

That charade pissed me off almost as much as the coffee cups going away. I was fine with using my own mug (and often have over the years). The issue was about not having a cup for after the gym, the pool, and coming back from a walk. And this wasn’t just about me — as I was thinking of others and their guests at the pool and other parties. Everybody’s gotta bring their own cup now? And to me, they made some solid strides by “encouraging” us — as I was making a habit out of always using my own (even when we still had the cups).

That’s a success — and I applaud that!

They inspired change, but that wasn’t enough for them — as they had to have it all. So I had a challenge on my hands (and I do love a challenge). The gym and pool solution became clear pretty quickly: Just buy my own cups and keep a couple in my bags. And since they were sporadic at best in supplying the creamer — I bought a box of those too.

That’s the other thing that started us down this road: The sheer slop in their service did not sit well with me. That they advertised themselves as so superior to the previous company didn’t either. We had a lady who cleaned the clubhouse and took care of the coffee machine for years. She did a good job as far as I could tell — and it still bugs me that I didn’t defend her when the new staff painted the previous company in such a negative light. The old outfit had their issues, but in hindsight — I found the new crew’s criticism to be classless and totally unnecessary.

In that moment, I appreciated their honesty — but then I thought, “Wait a minute, I liked that cleaning lady.” And the office wasn’t that bad — but I chuckled along and I’m still kicking myself for it. I don’t like anybody being treated unfairly. That’s a great gift I’ve been given from a lifetime of knowing how it feels. It bugged me that I didn’t stand up for her — and had I known she was gonna get the boot, I would have gotten her a gift card. Still would if I could. Just as I would have liked to say goodbye to the old staff and send them off with a pizza party or something.

Good lord, after the get-togethers and goodies they gave us — they more than earned it! They deserved better: At the very least — a kind word in the face of over-the-top criticism.

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How to solve the coffee-cup conundrum when walking?

And then it hit me — just hide a cup in the cabinets down in the clubhouse on the way out. Problem solved (except just one problem): Someone stole my cup on the very first day I stashed one. While that annoyed me, I was only interested in addressing the root of the problem. And lo and behold, that’s how I look at everything!

So I stormed into the office and took the manager to task.

I’d recently been fired from my job — where I was in a living hell for 6 months. And central to that problem was someone not doing her job (which got in the way of me doing mine). My managers were well aware of the problem but did nothing of note to address it. So rather than get screwed over like I have before by going it alone, this time I went to HR (for the first time in my career).

As a contractor, I had no protections — but I had the right to file a code-of-conduct complaint.

I had no desire to harm her career (so I didn’t want the file anything official). I just needed some help in resolving the problem so we could get back to work. A month later I was fired (and not by my managers or HR). I don’t know exactly who fired me or why. That this was politics is plain as day, but what exactly was going on there — I’ll never now.

What I do know is that this wasn’t . . .

And that is what this is ultimately all about: Reality (or rather, manufacturing your own). That people decorate their walls and websites with beliefs untethered to reality (like that lady feeling threatened by the slightest brush up against her): Is a plague poisoning everything in its path. #MeToo was out to address some serious problems and rightly so. But they went way overboard (which is what America does best).

And in so doing — did cosmic damage to their justifiable cause (becoming unserious in the process).

“We . . . want it now, and if it makes money now, it’s a good idea. But . . . if the things we’re doing are going to mess up the future, it wasn’t a good idea. Don’t deal on the moment. Take the long-term look at things.

— The Dust Bowl

Speaking of #MeToo:

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About 8 years ago, I stood up for a female Project Manager who went ballistic over a Business Analyst bailing on our meeting. It was unprofessional that she left simply because some colleagues were late, but I didn’t think it was worth getting that upset over. However, I was keenly aware of that BA’s erratic behavior (and that PM was spot-on in everything she said). Moreover, she had a ton of responsibility on her plate — and we’d been trying to get that meeting going for some time. So I completely understood her concerns. My manager did too — as he sat there shrugging his shoulders with this “what can I do?” attitude.

You could do your job!

I didn’t want to get involved, but after all these years of nobody backing me (even when they knew I was right): How could I not chime in with what I knew to be true? I’d never live it down if I sat there in silence, so I spoke up. We left the meeting and believe it or not, I tried to ease her mind by sharing some good things about that BA (regardless of how annoying I found her).

To which she replied, “Well, that’s how these things get accepted over time.” As in — what I’ve been saying for pretty much my entire adult life. Now I really was involved. I knew no one else would do anything, so it was up to me (as always). The next morning Zip-a-dee-doo-dah sent me another one of her erratic emails, and I decided to ask if we could sit down for some coffee upstairs. It’s the hangout spot for everybody in the building. Very cool & casual — so I thought it would be a perfect setting for addressing some concerns.

And since “excellence and performance” are advertised on your walls and whatnot, I thought we’d give it a go. What can I say — I’m old-fashioned that way!

About that Zip-a-dee-doo-dah deal:

If you’re not gonna let me help solve some of society’s ills, the least I can do is capture the comedy of it all. And there’s always an underlying message within it. The kids skipping to the tune of “Everything is ‘satisfactch’ll’” attitude of contentment — syncs with the self-absorbed culture we created:

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!
Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder

It’s the truth, it’s “actch’ll”
Everything is “satisfactch’ll”

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah is a fitting moniker for the lickety-split satisfaction people get in zipping through any discussion — gleefully gutting the truth as they glide right past reality with ease. Putting the angelic nature of it aside, the song is simply a caricature of how I see America being butchered to death by bullshit:

An unyielding faith in baseless beliefs that’s beyond anything I could have imagined in my youth.

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The moment I mentioned the email and politely requested that she work on her patience (in an intelligent person who’s sadly intimidated by things she doesn’t readily understand): She got upset and stomped away within a minute or two. I never even raised my voice (which stands to reason — as I didn’t care that much about any of this in the first place).

I lived 2 miles from the ocean (where I walked to the beach every day). I strolled past multi-million dollar yachts on the way to work (and I’d walk back home for lunch & laughs with midday Monk). And as the project had been delayed: I was making damn good money to do whatever I wanted in the meantime (which meant study time). It was glorious and I had it made. It’s not that I no longer cared — it’s not I would never again give so much of myself to people unworthy of it. If you wanna run your shop like a joke, go right ahead — was my attitude at the time.

From decades of dealing with a rolodex of excuses: I was done being treated like shit by people won’t get out of their own way to let me help them. But that PM got to me with what she said — because it was me talking and a lifetime of no listening. Against my better judgment, I had to try (but this time with a new approach). And right on cue — got f#@ked over anyway.

When I returned from lunch — I was stopped by security and asked for my badge.

I put my head down on the front desk for a moment — and when I rose up, took that badge off and threw it against the wall as hard as I could while saying, “SON OF A BITCH!” as loud as I could. I walked away without another word, but before I hit the door — I knew what I was gonna do. This was not over!

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Anyone working with her would know what she’s like, but if a girl’s crying at her desk (right smack dab in the middle of #MeToo): It’s over for the guy who was so threatening in politely asking for patience. But nobody cared what was right, what was true, and what made sense (like factoring for her history of hypersensitive behavior). All that mattered was how she felt (never mind she was acting like a child).

In coddling her they harmed her (just like my colleague at Ecolab — and same goes for the absurdity that may move me out). But I will not go quietly — as others who came before you found out:

When the machine has taken the soul from the man
It’s time to leave something behind . . .
Oh, wisdom is lost in the trees somewhere
Oh, you’re not gonna find it in some mental gray hair
It’s locked up from those who hurry ahead

The banks built my career and I’m eternally grateful to them. This isn’t Occupy Wall Street — as I don’t do The Big Bad or any other kind of indiscriminate scrutiny. I’m not keen on conventional approaches to protesting, and I had no interest in getting in anyone’s way to bring attention to my cause.

My prime directive was that I would not engage unless engaged first.

I let my A-frame convey my message, but I was happy to talk to anyone who approached me. And if I’m gonna spend a few hours hangin’ around, I’ll make the most of it with some good reading. A gentleman in a suit walked up to me one morning and said, “I really respect the way you’re doing this.”

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Manners matters!

And on that note:

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You cannot be, I know, nor do I wish to see you an inactive Spectator, but if the Sword be drawn I bid adieu to all domestick felicity, and look forward to that Country where there is neither wars nor rumors of War in a firm belief that thro the mercy of its King we shall both rejoice there together

I greatly fear that the arm of treachery and violence is lifted over us as a Scourge and heavy punishment from heaven for our numerous offences, and for the misimprovement of our great advantages.

If we expect to inherit the blessings of our Fathers, we should return a little more to their primitive Simplicity of Manners, and not sink into inglorious ease

We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them

— Abigail Adams, 16 October 1774

Yes sir, honey … It happened on one of them Zip-a-dee-doo-dah days

Oh yeah, I could have brought some manners to the table as a freedom fighter for bathroom rights. Just as I could have put up with another month or two or ten of being treated like shit at Ecolab. That aside, there’s some great people there: An incredibly dedicated team that deserved better — and so did she!

Her psychological issues aside: She’s one of the best I’ve ever seen at what she does best. I would have made her better — Ecolab made her worse!

The time had come!

Like a friend and former colleague once said, “Rick’s the type of guy who would lose his job on principle.” I’ve damn near burned my career on it. As I’ve seen all my adult life, it’s never about the elephant in the room — the real problem is the flawed fella saying:

We could accomplish so much more if we simply got this elephant out of the way.

This title that captures the absurdity at Ecolab — applies to the apartment ordeal and all the other asinine incidents over the years. And lo and behold, same goes for what you see in the world around us. You’re all spinning your wheels on symptoms — forever fussing over my failure to help you reach for the roots.

As told on Runnin’ Down a Dream:

Ah, the pooh-poohers of possibility: Forever on the front lines of lowering the bar while I’m trying to raise it — you’ve been a constant companion almost all my life. Where would I be without you?

Remember that guitar in a museum in Tennessee
And the nameplate on the glass brought back twenty melodies
And the scratches on the face
Told of all the times he fell
Singin’ every story he could tell . . .

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I exhausted every avenue before I put those names on the sign. As shown in the original rig, there was no Fraudulent 5 component to the protest — and nobody cared. Within minutes of showing up with the new addition and banners to boot, they cared. It created quite a stir in the neighborhood, and I was threatened with a lawsuit if I didn’t take it down. I didn’t budge one bit. I had the Constitution on my side, but more importantly — I had the truth. Unlike all those who railroaded me, however — I have limits as to how far I’m willing to go:

A courtesy — for those who showed me none . . .

From the beginning to this day:

On my sites I blur out the identities of all those whose behavior I bring to light. My aim isn’t to make you look bad — it’s for you to stop looking bad! And for those who think they see a pattern developing, you’re right: I’ve always clashed with a culture that increasingly values bullshit as currency. And no matter how hard I’ve tried to adjust over time:

My concessions could never keep up with the pace of pampering that plagues our society.

There is no market for what I do. But there wasn’t one for PCs at one time either. We could revolutionize the world too — just by using the tools we were given from the get-go:

That’s that lump that’s three feet above your ass!

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Of all the great principles that foster fruitful communication — this one is paramount:

You Improvise, You Overcome, You Adapt!

I adapt to you and you adapt to me . . .

And somewhere in the middle or on the way to it — maybe we come to a meeting of the minds. There’s no finer example of that than these classic scenes from the all-time “everyman” master. Tom Hanks’ character is coming from a different place — and his attitude from the start was:

I don’t have ballplayers, I’ve got girls!

But little by little, he came around — and once he saw them as ballplayers, he treated them as such. And that’s what that first scene above is all about. In the second scene, as much as he’d like to treat them the same as any player, he adapts to find some way of conveying his concerns without being too harsh.

You’re still missing the cutoff man. Now that’s . . . . that’s something I’d like you to work on . . . before next season.

And whad’ya know — she responds in kind!

She recognizes that he’s trying really hard to get something important through to her, and that he’s adjusting his approach from last time — and she appreciates that. “Now that’s something I’d like you to work on” . . .

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Speaking of gender:

If I were a female, there’s no way I would have been booted out the door at AutoNation (which is grounds for discrimination in my mind). On that note, do you really believe that girl would have snapped back with “Don’t touch me!” if a female had done the same? And if you’re thinking, “It’s not the same” — you’re not thinking! It’s not about being “the same” — it’s about objectively examining the situation. For instance, what if a female touched me (accidentally or otherwise)?

Are you telling me there aren’t women who kick the crap out of me with ease?

I’m sure Ronda Rousey would have something to say about that (along with countless millions of women with superior strength and/or skills). If one of ’em put their hands on me in an argument — would I be justified in calling the cops because I felt threatened? To answer that question:

• Wouldn’t you want to know exactly what transpired at that moment?
• How early into the exchange did it take place?
• Were there any words said at the time of the touching, and if so — what were they?

And if the person who violated their space was trying to ease the victim’s mind in the moment in happened, on what basis would anyone interpret that as a threat? And therein lies the point: Ascertaining the truth requires a case-by-case examination of the event. But just like down in Florida, the atmosphere of America was injected into the equation (as opposed to — ya know, the atmosphere within the confines of the situation). And in a country that loves to argue — very few people can craft a sound argument when their interests are at stake. For instance, the office is conflating this incident with the other one over the cups. Now, I really tore into her (with witnesses all around — male and female).

Nobody made a move, nobody called the cops, and we’ve been fine ever since.

And yet somehow, I’m gonna go from that to acting in a threatening manner to an employee with only an ancillary role in the situation? If she felt so threatened, why did she stand there for so long afterward the “touching” took place? I even complimented her that she did, to which she replied, “Section so and so says I don’t have to.” Well then — just do your job, I said.

And that is another element at the core of our country’s decline: Creating layers and layers of policies and institutions that perpetuate problems by never addressing the underlying issues.

I wouldn’t give you two cents for all your fancy rules if, behind them, they didn’t have a little bit of plain, ordinary, everyday kindness and a — a little lookin’ out for the other fella, too . .

— Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

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Nevertheless, while writing this it occurred me that maybe there’s more to it than our comfort-craving culture I can’t stand. Perhaps she had something happen to her that caused her to react that way. I’m not doing all this just so you can see where I’m coming from — but rather the immeasurable value in recognizing where we’re all coming from. But in that all I forgot to include her! And whether she gives a shit about where I’m coming from or not, I do in her direction (as that is what being principled is all about).

Same goes for the colleague at Ecolab. She’s got a chemistry degree, for crying out loud! I couldn’t pull that off to save my life. All that intelligence and she pissed it away over pride. A lot of that goin’ around! She could do anything I do in my domain — and I would have trained her to take her as far as she wanted to go (even on my own time). But if you’re not gonna step outside the confines of your cage — get out of the way! To be fair: She had healthcare problems at home with her mom (along with her own concerns on some surgery).

So we’ve all got different problems to deal with in our lives:

Which is all the more reason why we need solid leadership and an environment conducive to navigating around whatever obstacles we come across. If I were running a company and wanted to lock the bathrooms after business hours — at the very least, I’d make it a mandate that they’re unlocked first thing in the morning:

Not sloppily getting around to it when it’s convenient for you!

This didn’t come out of nowhere (as I’ve seen it happen multiple times and I let it go — while patiently waiting for the new system). In fact, I recalled later that I actually brought this up to her as a polite nudge in the office one day. She didn’t seem to care then — and what shocker, in the handful of interactions I’ve had with her, I took notice that there was never a look of concern.

In any case, enough is enough!

Their automatic-entry app implementation is months behind — and what pisses me off far more than that is that these people don’t seem to care. And the clubhouse closes at 10:00 — not 9:55, 9:50, not 9:45 (a pattern of irregularity I never saw with the previous staff). So if you can’t get your clock in gear, leave it unlocked until ya do!

You work here — I live here! Get your act together and deliver on what we pay for!

With all that in mind: I damn sure am not gonna get too upset at some low-level employee who has no control over this half-assed operation (outside of her small part in failing to follow through within it). But if I’m trying to preface my concerns by explaining that to you — and I accidentally brush your jacket (or anywhere on your body): And you make a federal case out of it.

Now — you’ve made it about you!

Say what you will about me unloading on her for pulling that stunt, and that’s fair. But the cops didn’t come because of that. By their own admission — the issue is that I touched her. But since I brushed her in the beginning (inside of 2 minutes into the exchange — while simply saying that I wasn’t taking this out on her): It doesn’t make any sense that someone would feel threatened over it.

Nevertheless, I made a production out of backing up to make her feel more safe in her space.

I was happy that there was a witness to me “touching her.” But knowing what I know about human nature, I had to reconsider what she’d say as a woman defending her own (as people tend to do in all walks of life). I don’t roll that way — as I only care about what’s right, what’s true, and what makes sense. The best thing that tenant who witnessed it could have done — is simply say:

The guy was a jerk but you’re overreacting!

And it would have been perfectly fine had the office lady said, “I’m sorry this happened. It won’t happen again, but please don’t touch me again.” Just do something — anything to show you recognize your role in the situation and that you’re taking my concerns seriously.

And that would have been the end of it!

She had no such notion (which became crystal clear from one interaction to the next). A friend sent me a care package that never arrived or is in a locked box in the mail room (where some keys have gone missing). The Post Office lady could not have been more professional (going out of her way to open every single box in the room). That girl from the office was there — with that burdened look on her face of having to do her job. There was nothing but concern, sincerity, and effort on the part of the Post Office person. I saw nothing of the kind from the office girl — ever!

And what’s even more telling is that my friend overheard her on the speaker phone — and commented on how she clearly didn’t care (just by briefly hearing it in her voice). In truth, the office didn’t either — they just do a better job of acting like it. The office manager and I have have gotten along swimmingly since the day I lit into her, and that’s a testament to her toughness and jovial personality. And aside from the “Don’t touch me!” bit — I was actually impressed with how well the other girl took it all in. Even if she didn’t care in the slightest — she’s a damn sight stronger than that girl at AutoNation (and some guys I’ve taken to task as well).

But she’s got some issues in feeling threatened over nothing (not to mention the power trip she’s on knowing she can get away with anything). I know the type — all too well! But I imagine Zip-a-dee-doo-dah down in Florida regretted it the second she saw her name on a sidewalk sign. Mark my words: The first sign of eviction — and I’m gonna order up some new signs.

No one will care, but I’m pretty sure she will.

Just let it go!

You’ve got your “restraining order” for all future communications to come through email, so we’ll never talk to each other again. The height of humanity these days — squander opportunities to learn where we went wrong so we can spend the rest of our lives believing we’re right. My parting thoughts on the new protocol for the guy who just wanted to go to the bathroom:

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Slice it any way you want — this is on you and your company! She failed to do her job (more than once) — but it’s a job she shouldn’t have to do in the first place. I was trying to ease her mind by telling her that when I brushed up against her jacket.

She escalated the situation from the get-go by making a mountain out of a molehill.

Had I been in her shoes — I would have apologized profusely for forgetting to unlock those bathrooms (and tell the tenant it’ll never happen again). Moreover, I’d make it my mission to make sure of it. But that’s me! There was not even a hint of empathy on her face (or any notion of following up with management to stop this stupid practice). I don’t care what your reasons are — this is a business (and I paid for access to those bathrooms). I solved the problem on the cups and you never heard another word about it. And I’ve been more than patient in waiting on your new system on the app deal to automatically unlock the doors.

But enough is enough — it’s just utterly ridiculous! And while I like you as a person — I wish the old staff were still here. They had some issues, but nothing like what you guys brought to the table. Yeah, the new carpeting and painting is nice and all. And that you fixed the urinal early on was impressive. It’s just too bad I never get to use it when I need it most.

This is on you — and a culture that caters to such absurdity.

Good day!

Rick

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Talkin’ to myself again
Wondering if this travelin’ is good
Is there something better doin’ we’d be doin’ if we could

And oh the stories we could tell
And if this all blows up and goes to hell
I can still see us sittin’ on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell . . .